My journey as an author (so far...)

When I was younger (think middle/early high school), I used to write short stories and sometimes, I'd let my friends read them. But even early on, I didn't believe I was good enough. A lot of people can probably relate to this in different aspects of their lives, but it's something that followed me my entire life.

In college, I picked it up again and actually wrote a full length novel. But guess what? I stuffed it in a drawer and let it rot.

Why? Because I once again thought I wasn't good enough. That no one would ever read it and think it was worth their time. That someone would tell me I'm a horrible writer and completely destroy any bit of hope I still had left about my talent.

So I put down my pen for years (figuratively, of course), and moved on with my life.

Years later (Summer 2024), I decided I wanted to try to write again. However, I changed up my genre. I love reading romance novels (yes...it's smut. I read smut. We listen and we don't judge). But one of the things I disliked about a few of the romance novels I read was how some of the female main characters are portrayed as hopeless and weak, especially if they don't change and grow towards the end.

So I thought I'd give it a try. I thought I might use some of my own experiences and feelings, and pour them into my characters. Turns out doing this is therapeutic, which only made me continue writing.

After about a thousand drafts (not really, but it felt that way), I was ready to start searching for an agent. I wanted to take a shot at the traditional route of publishing...just to see if I had what it took. Problem is, a lot of agents don't necessarily want to take on a debut romance author with the market flooded. And let me tell you, for someone who already has an issue with not feeling good enough, agent rejections HURT. Like, REALLY hurt. The more that came in, the more I started to wonder if I was right about myself all those years ago. That I wasn't a good writer; that I was fooling myself.

My wonderful editor kept me from throwing in the towel more than a few times, raving about how much she loved my character development and the storyline. And my bestie continued to tell me to "shut up", and that I was talented. She kept telling me I would be published one day and readers would love my work.

With the suggestion of my editor, I submitted my manuscript to an independent publisher (one she already had clients sign with), and a few weeks later, they were offering me a contract. I couldn't believe it. After doing my due diligence and having the contract reviewed, I got the all clear and I signed January 2025.

The process has been stressful (only because my anxiety was through the roof), but it was pretty streamlined. One more final edit by their staff, then cover design, interior approvals, blurb rewrite and boom...suddenly, I was a published author.

I don't think it really hit until I was holding the book in my hands. And even still, it feels surreal.

Today, I have several different editions (paperback, hardback, and e-book) that are available on a lot of platforms. Currently, I haven't found it in an actual store, but I've been told that can be up to two months after it was put on the Ingram catalog before it might appear physically. It is available on some big store websites, which I never thought would ever happen.

Not only that, but there are actual reviews of my book. And they're GOOD. I know, complete shocker, right? I certainly wasn't expecting it (my bestie continues to give me the "I told you so" any chance she gets). Readers on social media are adding it to their TBR piles and it's just all so...weird? Amazing? Unexpected?

So many different ways to describe how I'm feeling, but none of them feel right. I think it's going to take a little while before I start realizing this is my reality now. I'm a published author. And I have at least one more guaranteed release on my contract, with room for more if I choose to continue with my publisher.

I wish I could tell the younger me to continue writing. To never give up on that dream. But at the same time, I don't know if I would have been successful then. As I've gotten older, I've been able to put my own experiences into my writing, which I think is why readers have been able to relate so well to the characters.

So maybe I wasn't supposed to be a writer during the first half of my life. Maybe I was meant to be right here, right now...after living the life I've lived so far.

When it came time to write my dedication for my debut, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. There are actually three parts to it, but I feel like the one to my girls is the most relevant to this blog post.

"To my girls, always follow your dreams, no matter how long you have to put them on hold. Even if you have to sit them down for a bit, they'll be right there waiting for you when you're ready to pick them up again. You are both my everything, and I love you more than words can express."

It's important to follow your dreams. But it's also important to understand that there's no expiration date on those dreams either. It's okay to put them on hold, as long as you pick them up again at some point.

I may never become a bestselling author or make writing my full-time career. But, at least I'll know that I followed my dreams. I'm a published author (still strange to say), and as far as I'm concerned, I succeeded.

~ Aurelia St. James